Rules of Fabulosity - The Heffer Rule

So I was thinking the other day, I get a LOT of compliments in my every day life about things that are also very every day. I also consider myself to be of medium maintenance, yet people tell me they wonder how I have time to do anything else but look good.

It's easy to look good, but do you look GOOD? My friend Rhett Butler (yes, really) comes to mind while writing this article. How does one describe Rhett? Confident, lady-killing, fierce. He is the only gay man I know who has women crying over him. What is his secret, I asked myself. What is it?! I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl who doesn't think he's severely fuckable. Then it occurred to me as he waltzed his way into the local coffee shop, positively preening like a peacock. Heads turned. There it was.

The secret.

Are you ready?

Confidence.

Yes, that thing we read about in beauty mags and roll our eyes because it's easy to be confident in a size 5. But it's absolutely, positively true. Here are my tips to make your fabulous YOU ooze out of every orifice.

I've never been the most confident of girls, not really, so when I decided to develop and use the "Heffer Rule", I was skeptical that it was attitude and not reputation. I call this the Heffer Rule because whenever a woman looks in the mirror, the array of synonyms pour out like thought vomit.

Stop it.

Stop that word vomit. When you look in the mirror, know that YOU love YOU more than anything else in the world. You gave yourself all that you have to be thankful for. You're beautiful and how DARE anyone say otherwise. How dare they!

FOLLOW THE HEFFER RULE.

1. Get dressed. Don't spend your time in the mirror picking on your imperfections. Rather, dress up your favorite parts. I love my boobs, ass, and eyes, personally.

2. Once you're ready (even if it's every day clothes), stand in the mirror and PREEN. Preen the crap out of your mirror. Blow it away. BAM! Hottie!

3. Tell yourself how hot you are. It feels stupid at first but check yourself out like you would someone else. Damn, girl!

4. Don't look too long (unless you like it). After about 1 - 3 minutes of preening, go preen somewhere else. Looking in the mirror too long is asking for trouble when it comes to confidence.

5. Go out and don't stop preening. Even when you're alone in the car, preen. How fabulous are you? Ask yourself. Then answer. Exaggerate. Go for it.

6. If you walk into a party or public scene, remember: shoulders back confidently, shake out that hair, and one hand on your hip. Be subtle, though. Believe you're hot and your body will translate. Don't try to tell anyone but yourself.

7. When you feel your confidence getting tired, don't let it give up. Exercise it like you would a drill sergeant. Get up! Your hair is beautiful! Your makeup is flawless! Your outfit is cute!

8. Sometimes this happens, even to me, but God forbid, someone insult you. This is the most important rule. GRACE IS EVERYTHING. You may not respond as though you thought you would. That's fine, it happens. But consider this: Humans respond quickly without thinking. Navy Seals go through training to alter this. So should you. Train yourself. When you insult yourself, quick, respond! Are you laughing it off? Good. If this happens with someone else, laugh, then walk away as if they aren't worth your time and be sure to EXCUSE yourself.

For example:

Them: "Did you stick your head in a blender this morning?"
You: "Haha! Oh, you (or something)!" Pause, look them in the eye casually, then pretend something came to mind. "Oh, will you excuse me?" Walk away.

It makes it seem like they just made an ass of themselves and it works absolutely every time if you use the correct tone. Practice on yourself out loud if you insult yourself. Don't be surprised if that person tries to be next to you again at one point in the night. They subconsciously want to soak up your awesomeness.

9. You can't feel awesome all the time if you don't spoil yourself a little. It can be anything from an extra hour to sleep in or a new coat of polish on your nails. It doesn't have to cost a damn thing, honestly. You deserve it. Take time for yourself.

10. Remember that anyone who tells you that you are anything but fabulous is WRONG. They're the ones who are NOT. But don't tell them that! Being confident means emitting that you know you are graceful, nice, and HONEST. Be honest with everyone and you will have only false enemies, and other people will see that.

I developed these steps in a matter of two months and have been following them. My life has improved drastically and though it takes time, you will be unstoppably fabulous.